Wednesday, May 7

Driving in Malta


I am sick and tired of foreigners complaining about how Maltese people drive.

"The Maltese are the worst drivers in the whole wide world."
"It's every man unto himself on Maltese roads."
"They all oughta be fookin' nicked, I'll tell you that!"


...to which some feeble-minded Maltesers reply:
"In Malta, we don't drive on the right or on the left, we drive in the shade."

First of all, fuck the lot of you. Especially my compatriots who relish being looked down upon by foreigners: "Yes massah, me no drive good. Me stupid Maltese of Mintoff time."

Second, travel the damn world. If we're the worst you've seen, you ain't seen shit. Check out India where on the road, might is right. But you don't need to go so far to find worse drivers than us. Go to Palermo where drivers see pedestrians on zebra crossings as prey, where motorcyclists do the slalom with pedestrians on pavements. Then tell me how you like them apples.

According to Drive Safe, in Malta:
Speed Limit in Towns 50kmh (30mph)
Speed Limit on Open Roads 80kmh (50mph)

The average Malteser drives at 50-60kmh in urban areas and at 70-80kmh on long straights. Therefore, it's not a matter of us exceeding speed limits.

"You drive recklessly"

How a person drives depends on many factors, one of which is the number of cars on the road. Population density-wise, Malta is comparable to a busy city, not to a country. The same goes for traffic. Hence, driving here is just as chaotic as it is in London, Rome or New York. A lot of Brits have no problems driving on British motorways and country roads but would rather take the tube in London. New Yorkers take taxicabs. If you avoid driving in London, Rome or New York... why do you drive in Malta, to nag, nag, nag?

UPDATE: Clarkson on driving in Italy

4 comments:

La delirante said...

"The Maltese are the worst drivers in the whole wide world." LOL, obviously they haven't been to El Salvador or Rome or Athens...I was scared shitless when walking in the streets of Rome and Athens...I only thought about the safety of the Maltese zebras...yes, all in all Maltese DO respect the zebra crossings.

Sandro Vella said...

The blog post "Driving in Malta" is featured on Maltamedia: The Maltese Blogosphere

- Nominate blog post of the month -

Paul said...

No worries, Maltese drivers are great , dont run over pedestrians, even stop to let you know your are safe. contrast this with Italy, where a change of aim is all you get when on a pedestrian crossing.If you see a Maltese driver heading straight for you, as a visitor, you might be alarmed. Don't worry its just a massive pothole or a series of joined up potholes, that the unfortunate is trying to avoid, whilst not hitting you head on!!So, because the roads are in bits, but improving rapidly, hire cars are also a bit tired, from entering holes that only a moonbuggy would could be expected to negotiate. Great people, friendly and cheerful, will probably see prices fall due to EU membership and the effect of open markets.Maybe it is time for Malta to use all those underground galleries to have a Metro, like London and Paris and relieve all the trafic over Manoel Dimech Bridge, would clean up the air a bit too! An ideal country for Electric cars and bikes as the distances are well within advanced Li-ION type battery ranges. Government grants for electric vehicles would be a stimulus to stop the often bad pollution.Malta gets away with this aspect as winds usually blow all the pollution away somewhere else.Hire a car if you have to, the buses are great and they are good value and the No 8 serves the airport.Do not put your luggage on the seats, big no no!Every good wish!

Kaizenlog said...

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