Wednesday, May 7
Driving in Malta
I am sick and tired of foreigners complaining about how Maltese people drive.
"The Maltese are the worst drivers in the whole wide world."
"It's every man unto himself on Maltese roads."
"They all oughta be fookin' nicked, I'll tell you that!"
...to which some feeble-minded Maltesers reply:
"In Malta, we don't drive on the right or on the left, we drive in the shade."
First of all, fuck the lot of you. Especially my compatriots who relish being looked down upon by foreigners: "Yes massah, me no drive good. Me stupid Maltese of Mintoff time."
Second, travel the damn world. If we're the worst you've seen, you ain't seen shit. Check out India where on the road, might is right. But you don't need to go so far to find worse drivers than us. Go to Palermo where drivers see pedestrians on zebra crossings as prey, where motorcyclists do the slalom with pedestrians on pavements. Then tell me how you like them apples.
According to Drive Safe, in Malta:
Speed Limit in Towns 50kmh (30mph)
Speed Limit on Open Roads 80kmh (50mph)
The average Malteser drives at 50-60kmh in urban areas and at 70-80kmh on long straights. Therefore, it's not a matter of us exceeding speed limits.
"You drive recklessly"
How a person drives depends on many factors, one of which is the number of cars on the road. Population density-wise, Malta is comparable to a busy city, not to a country. The same goes for traffic. Hence, driving here is just as chaotic as it is in London, Rome or New York. A lot of Brits have no problems driving on British motorways and country roads but would rather take the tube in London. New Yorkers take taxicabs. If you avoid driving in London, Rome or New York... why do you drive in Malta, to nag, nag, nag?
UPDATE: Clarkson on driving in Italy